Every marriage is not meant to last forever. No matter what the reasoning behind the divorce, it is important to have legal representation for each side. I almost lost everything because my former spouse said that he was taking care of things and that he would be fair about how the assets were divided. It took several weeks for me to find out what he was up to. It was then that I hired my own attorney and got what I deserved. You should never attempt to go through a divorce without a lawyer working on your side. On my site, I have listed several of the issues that can get overlooked if you are inexperienced with divorce documents and proceedings.
As a parent, you worry about your kids, even when they're adults. Although you don't sit up at night waiting for your son or daughter to get home from a date anymore, you still think about them and how things are going in their lives. When your child gets married, you do get to sigh a bit in relief, but what happens if that marriage fails and your son or daughter begins the tough road of divorce? How you handle the news and what you say throughout and after the process will have a huge impact on how your son or daughter gets through this difficult time in his or her life. Below, you will find a few tips that can help you avoid mistakes during this difficult time.
Provide Acceptance and Support
You may be reading this after the news of the divorce was already broken, which means there is nothing you can do about your initial reaction, but you can work to repair any damage that a negative reaction may have done. You must accept that the marriage is coming to an end and support the decision that has been made.
Supporting the decision doesn't mean taking part in spousal bashing. Don't start talking negatively about the former spouse. You never know when the couple could reconcile, and you don't want to alienate your son or daughter by talking badly about their former ex.
Don't pry for a reason for the divorce. If your son or daughter comes to you and tells you what caused this decision, fine, but don't push for answers that he or she isn't ready to provide. Just make yourself available to listen any time he or she wants to talk.
Strengthen the Family
If you have grandkids involved with the divorce, you have a big job on your hands. Chances are, the grandkids will take the divorce harder than you and will need a compassionate, caring, and trustworthy person to go to during their time of need.
Never ever let the kids hear you talking poorly about their parents. Keep any conversation about the divorce as positive as possible. Don't assert any blame on either parent—ever! Doing so could lead to resentment and a seriously damaged relationship, not only with the grandkids, but also the parents.
Prepare for the Future
Family gatherings will never be the same as they once were. Your son or daughter may show up with just the kids in tow or all alone. The first several gatherings could be very difficult for everyone. Other family members may bring up the divorce with the hopes of consoling your son or daughter. You need to be prepared to change the subject and divert the conversation in a different direction to prevent hurt feelings or an emotional breakdown.
Things will get better for everyone and the relationship can be sustained between you and your son or daughter as long as you are careful about what you say and are prepared to be supportive throughout the process and long after it is complete. If your son or daughter asks for help finding a divorce lawyer, look for one in your local area with good credentials and a solid history.